Reflection on Luke 10: 38-42
God is kind of funny.
So, lately, life has been quite the downs. I'm constantly worrying about so many things, and at the end of the day, just want to do nothing. So, one final down and a full day of studying Islam, which is a very interesting yet super complex religion (I can't even read the Qur'an without getting it confused with another part of it...), I start wanting to vegetate. I look up some youtube, yet even that tires me out and makes me feel anxious.
I close my laptop with some frustration (hope its ok) and belly flop towards my bed, and start praying. God, WATTA FREAK IS GOING ON MAN. Give me some answers. I know I wrote a blog just yesterday, understanding that all of this is for the sake of me understanding and growing in my discipleship with Jesus, but still, its freaking hard going through things and still not bringing up the frustrations, especially when things are super hard.
I've been reading Luke, just for funs, and also cuz the Driscolls started doing a series on it. This time, I opened Luke, continuing where I left off yet wanting Jesus to answer my current state of mind. And suprisingly, he did.
so Luke 10: 38-42 is pretty easy to understand. Martha invites Jesus to house, does a mess of serving, yet is frustrated by all the work. Her frustration leads her to project some of it onto her seemingly lazy sister, not to say that her frustrations were not legitimate, but Jesus here turns it around. Isn't it odd that serving Jesus laboriously, causing anxiety and troubles, isn't the necessary choice?
The Lord answered her, "Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing (some manuscripts say few things) is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her. =)
Don't get me wrong, nor take any of this out of context. I don't mean to say that we should just not serve our God and just sit at his feet all the time. No. Just pointing out the difference between Martha's and Mary's hearts. Serving anxiously vs. sitting and listening.
So yeah, I am troubled by my current circumstance. I do have a lot of worries and anxieties as I try to serve the different areas God seems to be pushing me towards. But right now, I just need to be a good steward with my studies and tackle this class. The good portion for me right now is understanding that I don't have to know right now everything going on in my life. Yeah, I do understand that I have to own some integrity and figure the shizzle in my life out with God, but that's why I have the current month to continually ask God watta freak he's teaching me. But right now, I'm going to sit at my Lord's feet and listen. I'm going to trust putting those parts aside for now and serving academics diligently is what is necessary right this minute. After these finals are over, I will fully devote my entire mind and heart, which I can't do right now because of finals, to what is happening in life. May we choose into the good portion (notice the word portion), and may it not be taken away from us.
Monday, March 14, 2011
Sunday, March 13, 2011
It's Almost Been A Year
I haven't been on this thing for awhile... Time to update!
Someone wise somewhere some place once said that history repeats itself, and for sure, it does...
around 7 months ago, I met this girl. She had been in a relationship for 3+ years and recently ended it all after many a complications. We started talking a lot about life, religion, and Jesus. Oddly, it was pretty good for the first half of summer. It was freaking awesome understanding the crazy ways Jesus had been working in our lives and what we aspired to become to pursue futures involving his ministry. Eventually though, we started showing signs more than just mere friendship. A month of kinda dating (I say kinda because it was really dumb at the time) happened. However, I didn't know at the time (I lack a lot of knowledge about relationships) that I was just a rebound. I couldn't deal with the sin done against me anymore and ended it entirely.
7 months later, a similar situation occurs. I didn't know how to deal with it at first, but I'm learning that the failures of 7 months ago really shaped the decisions that I'm making right now. I lost a potential friend 7 months ago, and I don't want to let that happen again.
But dealing with the various emotions, confusion, and loneliness have been some of the hardest experiences ever. But with all this suffering, I have learned to go back to the creator. I have felt his redemption and presence through the suffering in my heart as he delivers and comforts me. I am his beloved, and he makes all things work together for my good. I know that in this suffering his presence is here. That this suffering has given me more insight of the human heart and is bringing me closer to the sanctification of his Spirit.
So, because of this new perspective in such a similar situation, I ask for forgiveness. I'm sorry I was not wiser 7 months ago and allowed my flesh to get the better of me. I ask that you could give me mercy and grace only given from love and compassion.
And to right now, through all the miscommunication and pain, I hope we can be good friends again and look back at all this in 4 years and laugh at how comical everything was.
God, I have faith knowing that you can restore all these relationships. That in the end of the trials and suffering, your name will be praised. That you, my God, will receive all glory and honor. Reminding us it was you who delivered us out of slavery in Egypt, sanctified us in the wilderness for 40 years, and defeated the enemy, redeeming us back to the Holy Land. May we rejoice in you.
Someone wise somewhere some place once said that history repeats itself, and for sure, it does...
around 7 months ago, I met this girl. She had been in a relationship for 3+ years and recently ended it all after many a complications. We started talking a lot about life, religion, and Jesus. Oddly, it was pretty good for the first half of summer. It was freaking awesome understanding the crazy ways Jesus had been working in our lives and what we aspired to become to pursue futures involving his ministry. Eventually though, we started showing signs more than just mere friendship. A month of kinda dating (I say kinda because it was really dumb at the time) happened. However, I didn't know at the time (I lack a lot of knowledge about relationships) that I was just a rebound. I couldn't deal with the sin done against me anymore and ended it entirely.
7 months later, a similar situation occurs. I didn't know how to deal with it at first, but I'm learning that the failures of 7 months ago really shaped the decisions that I'm making right now. I lost a potential friend 7 months ago, and I don't want to let that happen again.
But dealing with the various emotions, confusion, and loneliness have been some of the hardest experiences ever. But with all this suffering, I have learned to go back to the creator. I have felt his redemption and presence through the suffering in my heart as he delivers and comforts me. I am his beloved, and he makes all things work together for my good. I know that in this suffering his presence is here. That this suffering has given me more insight of the human heart and is bringing me closer to the sanctification of his Spirit.
So, because of this new perspective in such a similar situation, I ask for forgiveness. I'm sorry I was not wiser 7 months ago and allowed my flesh to get the better of me. I ask that you could give me mercy and grace only given from love and compassion.
And to right now, through all the miscommunication and pain, I hope we can be good friends again and look back at all this in 4 years and laugh at how comical everything was.
God, I have faith knowing that you can restore all these relationships. That in the end of the trials and suffering, your name will be praised. That you, my God, will receive all glory and honor. Reminding us it was you who delivered us out of slavery in Egypt, sanctified us in the wilderness for 40 years, and defeated the enemy, redeeming us back to the Holy Land. May we rejoice in you.
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